Safe Spaces
Quick heads up: this won’t seem like it’s about wrestling until it does. You will know when. Also: trigger warning.
In 2018 I started a criminology degree; I had been a fan of true crime podcasts in high school and I thought it could be an interesting field to study. Within the first week of classes beginning I learned that first, a lot of people who don’t get into law and policing degrees do criminology as a steppingstone to get into those courses. And that second, the degree was catered almost entirely to those people, making the degree full of boring legal terminology and statistics. I also spent a large part of 2018 realising, processing, and beginning to heal from my own sexual assault some years earlier. It is an interesting experience to be re-learning about your own trauma and also studying the statistics I had suddenly become, in a classroom with 100 other people.
A large aspect of criminological study that they teach you off the bat is the dark figure of crime, which put simply is crimes that go unreported. This is the great unknown when it comes to crime statistics: you can’t accurately say how many cars are stolen in a year when 30-70% of car thefts aren’t reported. The single biggest and darkest figure of crime in the world is the reporting of sexual assaults and rapes. Victims of sexual assault and rape often don’t feel safe enough to come forward, or they don’t feel that anything will happen even if they do come forward. This feeling is backed up by an entire human history’s worth of victim blaming and cover ups. In Australia, the current predicted statistic for sexual assault and rapes is that one in three women will be sexually assaulted or raped in their lifetime. I can walk into any room with two other women and know that I am that one in three, but I can guarantee I am probably not the only one in three because of our good old friend, the dark figure of crime. Accounting for the dark figure, statisticians predict that 33.33% is probably closer to 80%. EIGHTY PERCENT OF ALL WOMEN.
I only did the criminology degree for a year before transferring to a better degree, because it was obviously kind of traumatising, but one of the many reasons I left, was Intro to Criminology week 5. From week 3 onwards in term 1’s Intro to Criminology, our lectures were given by guest lecturers who spoke about their chosen fields. Before week 5’s lecture I had forgotten to check the lecture subject. It was sexual assault and rape. The lecturer was incredibly kind and let everyone know before the lecture started that if anyone needed to leave before the lecture began that they could leave now. But if I had left then, everyone would have known that it was a sensitive topic for me. So, I sat through a 2-hour lecture that was practically a masterclass about what statistics I personally belong to. I belong to the 17.6% of all women who are sexually assaulted or raped before they are 18 years old (not including the dark figure of crime). Except I also don’t, because I never came forward about my experience in any legal manner, and as is backed up by the existence of a dark figure of crime, many other men and women don’t feel safe to come forward about it either.
I found out on the way to a wrestling show last year that a wrestler had been accused of rape. The person I found out from didn’t believe the accuser and spent most of the story painting her as a person trying to get attention by lying, and him as a good dude who would never do something like that. I then proceeded to have a panic attack the full length of a wrestling show and couldn’t devote my attention to any of the actual wrestling happening because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. When I got home, I threw up and then didn’t sleep for 3 days. To this day I haven’t heard the story from anyone directly involved, nor will I ever seek out that information, because the accuser deserves more than to have to trot out her trauma for everyone who wants firsthand information. What I do know is that she came forward to the wrestling community, and the wrestling community closed ranks and protected the man she accused. He wasn’t on shows for a couple of months, but he also had an injury, so I can’t even chalk that up to brands doing their due diligence and investigating the allegation. I do know that he was still involved with wrestling even if he wasn’t in-ring. I do know that various brand heads know of the allegation and haven’t done anything about making wrestling a safer community by removing him and instituting a no tolerance policy for rapists and committers of sexual assault (I unfortunately can believe that a no tolerance policy is needed and necessary but does not exist). However I did make the decision to make the people closest to me in the wrestling community aware of the allegation, and what I know. And based on their surprised responses, I have to congratulate the brands of southeast Queensland wrestling on a successful cover-up.
I found wrestling at a time when I was sorely lacking a community, and I was instantly included. It made me feel safe and discover a hobby that has literally helped me improve as a person. That was until I found out about the allegation. When I first learnt of all the statistics I belong to, I would often walk into a room and wonder how many other people in the room had experiences that have been reduced to a number. But now I walk into a wrestling event wondering who knows about the allegation and who is actively covering it up to protect “the boys”. It’s never a good experience to learn that a once safe space had never really been safe to begin with. It’s an experience I have dealt with many times now, and frankly I am damn near ready to burn some houses down. Because thanks to week 5 of Intro to Criminology, I know that while this might be southeast Queensland wrestling’s first cover up (I doubt it though), this isn’t Australian wresting’s first cover up. The women of PWA have talked about it, which is a good first step, but as someone whose rage level has me ready to see some heads on spikes, more needs to be done.
Because like 80% of women, I know I can’t move through this world safely, but I will do everything in my power to make sure my weekend activities don’t make me scared for my safety and the safety of those I care about. So wrestling brands, do better. Or else you’re going to discover that the predators you’re protecting are digging your grave. And that the people actually working to make wrestling a safer space for everyone will very soon realise that you are obsolete.